Dinner with an ex: Do or Don't?

Well, I did. Last week. And I'm still thinking about it...

Let me set up the scene: I had just gotten home from work and I no sooner plopped myself on the couch when I received the text, "Hey, I'm in town if you'd like to grab a beer after work." Now, nine times out of ten I would have just ignored it. Never responded. Just gone on with my evening as usual, but I was actually really genuinely interested in seeing/hearing how this man (who was once a major part of my life) was doing.

Now, before you get ahead- nothing happened. Scouts honor. It was drinks (two to be exact-my new maximum when out on dates and apparently for meeting exes too), dinner, & a game of darts. Not completely harmless because there might have been a little flirting- but that's it. I really enjoyed catching up and seeing how well he's doing in life and it was equally exciting to talk about all of the good things going on in my life too. I guess the part that has kept me thinking and somewhat baffled was our intricate discussion on 'exes'...

For both of us, we are the only past relationship that we still keep in loose contact with and by 'loose contact,' I mean Facebook friends and the occasional text or phone call. I hadn't seen this 'friend' of mine in over two years and it had been at least six months since we've spoken on the phone. Everyone else that I've ever dated, I have completely wiped off my radar...like they never existed. Is that crazy? I've never really thought about it at the time, but to have someone that you are thiscloseto in one moment and then nothing the next- is just crazy. But then again, isn't it crazier to think that you can be friends with all of your exes? And what makes this particular person different?

I guess in situations like this, there really isn't a 'normal' or 'black & white' answer. My usual advice (to others and myself) is to 'trust your gut' and lucky for me, my gut is usually right. I'm not sure what prompted me to agree to drinks...which turned into dinner...which turned into darts, but I'm glad I did.  Speaking candidly to someone, who at one time I was very close to, was extremely healing and empowering. I loved being able to bounce ideas off of him and get his perspective without having to be held accountable to him later. It was really a refreshing experience...one that definitely left me pondering the idea about meeting up and being friends (just friends) with your exes.

Wise Words Wednesday

I learned a very valuable lesson today from a client of mine. She was expecting a package from the postal service and it never arrived. After two weeks past it's expected due date, it finally showed up on her door step with an apology from the postman saying it was at the bottom of his bundle and he had simply overlooked it. This package was of great importance to my client and she had it in her mind to go to the post office the next day and complain to the manager about the poor service she had received.

Upon waking the next morning, she thought more about it and came to the conclusion that nothing good would come from her complaining. She would be yelling at someone who was not the cause of the situation and releasing that negativity would only bring her more negativity. Why put that stress & grief onto someone else? Instead, she bought a box of chocolates, took them to the post office and thanked the postal workers for their hard work and dedication.

A lot of times, I think we forget that we are in control of how we react to our circumstances and how we react can have a positive or negative outcome. Why spread more negativity? At the time, it might feel like the right thing to do and it would be a great release, but what good does it bring? None. Does it resolve the problem or just make matters worse? I'm really going to focus this week on how I react to the situations around me and try to 'be the light.' I'll leave you with this brilliant quote I found on Pinterest:

Home Brew

I carved out some time this weekend to utilize one of my Christmas presents and to keep myself entertained. In our annual gift exchange with my dad's side of the family this year, I received a Beer Making Kit. Home brewing is something I've had on the back-burner of my mind recently, but had no idea where to start. I was beyond excited when this was the gift I ended up with in our Chinese gift exchange and hate that it's taken me so long to whip it out. 

The whole process from brewing to bottling to drinking takes about 4 weeks, so my home brew will be ready just in time to drink & enjoy with the same family members at our March celebration of birthdays & anniversaries (4 birthdays, 1 anniversary, and this year...a retirement & house warming party all rolled into one).

Here's how my kit came and it had just about everything I needed. The only extras that I had to buy were an 8 quart pot & a fine mesh strainer.

"The Mash" - this is what makes the beer. It's a lot like making oatmeal, but you have to watch the temperature closely. This process took about an hour.

"The wort" - this IS the beer! It's the left over liquid for the mash + an additional 4 quarts of water strained through the mash. This has to stay at a low boil for about an hour. It's at this stage that the hops are added.

Almost finished! Once the boil is over, the pot goes into an ice bath (I made mine in the sink) where the liquid chills to a 

nice 70 degrees. The yeast is added and the tube goes in the cap to allow the carbon dioxide gasses to escape. After 2 days, this baby will be sealed with an air lock cap and go into my office closet for fermentation. 

Although the process was a lot more involved than I had originally anticipated, I really did enjoy it and found myself browsing the Brooklyn Brew website for my next creation. I'll keep my fingers crossed in the meantime and hope that my yeast doesn't die and that my wort turns into a delicious IPA that I can enjoy with my family. Stay tuned!

Happy Valentines's Day!

Despite popular belief, not ALL single people loathe Valentine's Day. I, for one, have (almost) always enjoyed this holiday and when looking back, it's the years I've spent it 'alone' that bring back the fondest memories.

I've had the opportunity to celebrate this special day with several gentlemen and only a handful have been lucky enough to celebrate with me more than once. Valentine's Day can come with its own unique set of pressures. These include, but certainly are not limited to: the pressure to get the best gift, to be creative, to find the perfect outfit, to plan the most amazing weekend get-a-way, to make your partner's day special...the list could go on and on. And let's not forget that you're secretly trying to out-do the relationship that came before this one (come on, I can't be the only one...). 

Now, being in love is fantastic and I hope to one day find my soul-mate, but I'd be crazy not to take this opportunity now while I am single to show myself how much I love ME. There is so much love around all of us: love between parents, siblings, friends, co-workers...all of it should be celebrated!

Since (hopefully) I won't have too many Valentine's Days as a single lady, when the opportunity arises, I choose to fill this day with the things that make me happy. I was lucky enough this year to spend a gorgeous afternoon with the man who first fell in love with me- my dad.

We played a round of golf at Palmer Legends in The Villages, FL and it couldn't have been a prettier day.

unWINEding

Had a busy day and came home exhausted so I will keep this short and sweet. After a day like today two of my favorite things to unwind with are a hot bath and a good book (wine is a given). I am currently reading The Silent Wife by A.S.A Harrison- the first read in a book club I've just joined. So far, so good. Here's to hoping I can stay up long enough to get at least one chapter in!

Motivation Monday

Happy Monday! I found this little gem on Pinterest a few months back and I think it's just the thing to nix the Monday blues. Each time I look at it, it reminds me that 'Monday' isn't the enemy. Mondays are a fresh start and the beginning of what could be an exciting & eventful week...the only difference is our outlook and how we choose to expend our energy.

Since 'm' stands for motivation, I chose to re-motivate myself today to get back on track with my running training. I set a goal back in November to run my first half-marathon in 2014. With my sights set on The Disney Wine & Dine Half Marathon this Fall (because nothing makes me want to run more than a glass of Pinot Noir waiting at the finish line) I've got to get my butt in gear!

I've started by training for a 5K distance using the 'Couch to 5K' app that is powered by Active. It has been a great training tool and I highly recommend it. Although my workouts haven't been consistent, I completed 'Week 5/Day 3' today which included a 5-minute Warm-up, 20-minute jog, & 5-minute cool-down. It might not sound like much, but I'm already thinking I will carry over the 'y' for yoga into my workout for tomorrow.

One of my favorite quotes is from Zig Ziglar: "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily." 

Domestic Procrastination

I finally took my Christmas tree down today (don't judge). 2014 has proven to be very eventful thus far which is helping me with my New Year's resolution to play just as hard as I work. However, it has also caused me to neglect a lot of things on the home front. I started off dedicating this weekend to all things domestic: laundry, vacuuming, dusting, taking down my Christmas tree...but it has quickly turned into a reflection of how much has happened in the short six weeks since we've rung in the New Year. True to form, I've made a quick list:

Things I've done so far this year (in no particular order):

• Learned to play euchre (card game- look it up)
• Flew to Pasadena, CA to cheer on my Seminoles in the BCS National Championship
• Had a birthday
• Spent 5 days on my couch with the flu
• Ran a 5K (AND shaved 3 minutes off my previous race time)
• Attended my high school best friend's bachelorette party (which may have included a party bus to Monster Jam)
• And lastly, flew to the Bahamas for a quick weekend celebrating my college roommate's bachelorette party.

So, here's January in a nutshell:

Well, enough procrastinating for me. Back to chores so I can get cleaned up for dinner with friends tonight. Ciao!

Gotta start somewhere...

Around this time last year I got the inkling to start a blog, but for reasons that will remain untold (at least for now) I let the idea go. So much has changed since then and two weeks ago, over blueberry-pineapple margaritas, my soon to be sister-in-law rekindled the spark.

Having just celebrated my 29th birthday, I've chosen to celebrate my life and accept that things don't always turn out as planned...especially when some of those "plans" are from your third-grade self. 

So here I am in a nutshell: A single lady with the most amazing family & friends. I love what I do for a living and feel lucky for it. I live alone. I'm obsessed with all things pirate & mermaid. I rescued a kitten seven months ago and named her Sparrow. I'm a wannabe world traveler. A book lover. A hopeless romantic that is loving her life exactly as it is in this moment.

It's not much, but it's a start. Thanks, Mel for the push! 

Check out my awesome sister-in-law at frugalinfirst.blogspot.com